A Freedom of What I always wanted to …

It was a rainy day. The children in the class were making noise. There was no teacher in the class. It was just before the last period. Everybody had packed their bags as they knew that no class was going to be there. Suddenly Neeta Mam, entered into the class. Kids weren’t happy. Obviously, who would love to read in a rainy afternoon?   Neeta Mam was strict. She wouldn’t let the class enjoy. Instead she would start teaching a lesson.


But Neeta Mam, was different that day. Probably the rain outside had poured some drops on her moods as well. She said there would be no lesson. Instead she would talk something different. Kids were happy.


So kids, I want to know, what you wanted to be….? She asked in a cheerful voice.


Doctor, astronaut, film actor….etc. there were random prompts in the class. Then she said everybody to be quite, and answer one by one.  A little girl was sitting in one of the corner benches and asked her friend sitting in the same, what to say…

Arre baba, you say what “You always wanted be...” Just the way I always wanted to be a dancer”. she said dancing her eyes.  She was learning Odissi those days.

Bewildered I(yeah, the girl was me)  had no clue that day on what I always wanted to be...honestly  I didn’t know much about the professions/careers. The only thing I knew I loved reading and I always wanted to study more and more…


When my turn came, I said the same. The entire class burst into laughter.  It looked so stupid. Study! Who loves to study or read especially kids? It was innocent but true. I always enjoy reading. And I had a fantasy to study more and acquire all the degrees under the sky.

As I grew up, the dream remained the same though trimmed up bit by bit as per the profession I thought of and also the subjects of interests. The first profession I liked to be was “Doctor”. The reason was “the sophisticated look of a doctor attracted me a lot” and biology being my favorite subject.  But it didn’t happen…

There were many things came in between. Sometime I wanted to be a badminton player, sometime a scientist. I acquired some of the degrees I wanted but there are so many still there, unfulfilled. I tried out to make a career in certain things which clicked momentarily but never linger. With time I understood certain things are beyond human control.

But one thing always stayed the same “I always wanted to study or read…whatever it may be, whatever I wish to”. So finally, one fine day  I realized that I had achieved what I always wanted to.  I  found myself in my own fantasy land where I can read whatever I want to, do study/research on whatever touches my mind/interests and pursue a course if  I feel so…

A freedom of what I always wanted to….


Sometime I really wonder why I didn’t stick to a profession. Why did I face the inescapable circumstances to pursue them? Was it a conspiracy by the universe? Because, had it been so, I would have been constrained to give much of my time and a big part of myself  to the same and left with little time to enjoy what I always wanted to…

Sometime Destiny has its final say…I guess.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda