When The unspoken words unable to hold themselves in the emotional sky, they fall on paper.....
like those of condensed and weighty clouds fall as rain drops on earth....
She
desperately prayed to the 33 crore Gods, invited there to chair surrounding the
“sacred fire” and witness the “Holy Knot” and the beginning of her journey as a
wedded woman. Her silently howling heart was entreating everyone under the sky
to amass her from taking those vows. She wasn't willing to trail that path with
someone she hardly knew. The chanted
verses were sounding like thunderbolts. Perhaps she was the first or may be the
only bride in the world who wished “the alliance” to break even at the last
moment….before that knot.But her silent
cries “Please God, save me from this marriage...” fell into the deaf ears of
Gods and Goddess who seemed to be too gratified to be served with sweets and
fruits. They tied her with that “Nuptial Knot” with him and she couldn’t do
anything…
She left
her home weeping and cursing her elders for the forcing her to live the remaining
part of her life with someone she didn’t Love.
Seated
in a flowery decorated car beside a tall corpse dressed with a Sherwani she was madly rewinding the frightful
happenings of the last two weeks when “She
and He” were strangers. A matrimonial site had connected them. Her account
was handled by her family. Within a week, his family visited hers and gave
their consent. HE visited after that. She was allowed to sit facing He for couple of minutes. She couldn’t even
utter a word. Time was over. Perhaps it was
only to assure her that He didn’t have any deformity. Her heart didn’t approve
him. But do the Indian families (mostly) even care!! Sigh! A “Jhat mangani, Pat bihaa” was decided by
all.
Everything
in her life - Place, people and practice- had changed in a jiffy. Mercifully He
was caring and understanding. Maybe he had understood her unpreparedness and
unwillingness for the relationship. While she was trying to dodge his approach
and avoid his coziness, he made all the efforts to make her at ease, feel
pampered. He never forced himself on her for anything. They acted “perfect
couple” brilliantly before everybody while shrouding the “Gap” between them.
It
was a norm for few months and she wasn’t sure “of the future” till that day… which
ended as usual. She was comforting herself as He had been touring overseas. Suddenly
a phone call from her dad changed everything. Her heart started “throbbing unusually”
as she heard about the plane crash from the same place He had been. And He was
supposed to return that evening. Was he in it? Damn It!! She felt her world would be hollow
without Him. Her concaved heart was pulsating faster than the tik-tak of the oscillating
bob. Her shaking hands were madly dialing the numbers of Airport authorities.
Door
bell rang. She ran and opened it. HE was there at door step. Suddenly a lump
chocked her throat. She hugged him tightly... She realized she had fallen in Love
with him without her notice as he was advancing into her…
Is that
the reason why Gods didn’t listen to her prayer? Destiny… said my friend!
Note: Its the story of a person very close to Me and want to remain anonymous. she had a arranged more clearly a forced marriage. But later she fall in Love with that Person.
This post was written for the 'The first real love story I watched unfold' blogging contest by http://www.bonobology.com/ and http://writersmelon.com/
The Story Of Suicide Author : Sriram Ayer (Founder Of 'NalandaWay Foundation') Genre: Fiction Well, to be honest, even though I acclaim myself to be an avid reader, yet I can’t hold myself too long to “online reading”. I could hardly protract myself on net even it were just articles that I need to do research for something, let alone a Book. Second, I am a very selective reader at the same time. The story needs to be absorbing me incessantly, else my mind gets easily fatigued. I had left many well-known authors’ book half read till date lying in my Book salves. It’s a confession.
That’s what surprised me as I finished reading online the Book “The Story of Suicide” in one day along with my frenzied schedule especially with the plans for the extended weekends. Yeah!! The story pushed me even glued to my phone to read it while cooking on the hob while the chimney making that assiduous resonance to evacuate the smelly and oily air out (the sound often irritates me though). That’s the magical part of the book “The Story of Suicide”.It would engross you till the end if you’ve started it reading…I challenge you on that.
The theme of the story is exploring “The Challenging and not-so-easy Lives of the Young Adults – a stage that every one of us had come across in our life”. Often termed as “Adolescence, teenage or the early stage of manhood or womanhood” the hormonal changes have not only a great impact on body but also in minds. The Emotional states said to be the “Most Fragile” in this stage that would not even survive a small blow let alone handling big things.
The Author has very meticulously weaved the characters depicting the different facets of Problems and emotional turmoil faced by Young Adulthood. It revolves around four central characters denoting different aspects that often this frail stage of life faces.
Hari: A character traumatized by Childhood sexual abuse by his own Uncle, grows up with a different sexual orientation – Precisely Gay- faces the world wearing a brave face while suppressing fear and emotional turmoil inside
Sam: Born to an affluent family, grows up techno savvy, social media savoir-faire with a “superiority complex” that lands him in the “domain of rejection, break ups and failed relationships” that drags him to a murkypath as a consequence.
Mani: As it happens to the majority of youngsters those who reside in the remote part of country, the academic excellence in mother tongue couldn’t help him hide his poor English. The obsession for English in his surrounding, grips him with an inferior Complex making him insecure and vulnerable.
Charu: A girl next door who often wears “I don’t give a Damn” tag always in her attitude struggles to cope up with her “Feminisms at Infancy” at the same time going through her natural innocent urges and preferences she makes out for them, that are common in her age.
The story starts with a Suicide Note proceeds with wrapping and weaving of the characters interconnecting them keeping in mind their emotions, insecurities, vulnerabilities, thoughts and urges. The Author Sriram Ayer deserves a highest accolade as he dealt with many hard-hitting realities while revolving around the central subject “Suicide” in an exceptionally brilliant fictional narrative.
The story deals with all the problems mostly faced by teenagers, like
The impact of Childhood traumas of sexual abuse,
Their complexes and acceptance in terms sexual needs/orientations,
Their Insecurities involving falling in Love/infatuations especially for Sexual needs
Their Struggle for acceptance/identity (often they end up faking their identity) among peers
The resourcefulness, social media ability and handling the social media abuse
Their fears, insecurities and inabilities to survive a blow
Inabilities to handle Technology, their use/abuse
The unripe relationship blues, handling rejections and jealousy
The prejudices for different sexual orientations, homosexuality, LGBT
Their vulnerability to end their lives – SUICIDES
How I feel about the above Things: Here it is…
Childhood Sexual Abuses:
Nothing worst could ever happen to a child than violating their tender bodies by the predators in their own surroundings wearing Masks of Protectors. It’s even worse if the child doesn’t feel free to share it with Parents and elders or the guardians fail to read them in the eyes of the child. Unless the trauma addressed as it should be, the child grows up with fear, Guilt, low self esteem and often susceptible to even a tiniest bluster in life which is often inevitable. Parents, elders and guardians should be careful to provide them a safe atmosphere for their upbringing, at same time should win the confidence of the child to share with them “how UGLY the thing May be”.
Had things would have been same with Hari, he would have handled himself in a much better way
Sexual issues:
I’m one who supports the “Sex education” for the kids before they feel the urge for it. However given to the stigma attached with it and the way we feel conscious, I think elders need to change a bit. Addressing 3Cs of Sexual Needs,their Concerns,Confusions and Consequences it may bring if something goes wrong, will reduce many problems related to Relationship issues like Love, Break ups, Rejections, Jealousy, Revenges and their falling into crime traps.
Had things been addressed same way for SAM, he wouldn’t have fallen into a dark path and become a Criminal even before understanding what a Crime is.
Taboos Involving Sexual Orientations/LGBT issues:
This is one of the areas I feel strongly about. It is really appalling that our society and culture never accepted LGBT individuals as natural humans even though they existed since time immemorial. Fabricated with rotten beliefs, a disproportionate social structure has hardly anything to offer to transgender community. Instead it takes away from them their right of living a respectable life. This is a reality. You know it, I know it and everybody knows. But the very mention of this topic was treated as a crime and a terrible taboo to discuss among family members, leave alone accepting this if someone from us is a gay or lesbian. Taunts and ridicules are unbearable. Sometimes it feels as if their reality has been edited out from the human history to propagate a culture of narrow vision. For example, do we have a story of lesbian or gay freedom fighter? Why? Didn't they exist? Or never recorded or edited out? Why their achievements (I don't feel that there are no achievements) were never made a part of our collective memory?
Well coming to the Young Adults, I think it is very important to understand their feelings on their orientations. Author Sriram Ayer has depicted the reality in this area. Hari finds he was a Gay but never shares it with Family fearing rejections and non-acceptance. In the last his apprehensions proved to be true as he was snubbed by his father.
My Questions to MR.Hegde in the Story of Suicide (and parents of all those LGBT people), Being a gay, did it make Hari, less a child (son) (less human) of you? Did he no longer remain a son of yours?
SUICIDES: I Quit-Is never a human spirit!
Often I feel children should be taught that “Life is Precious” from an early stage. Though there are various things that finally results a “whimsical state of mind to end own life” but a simple counseling system to teach kids how to deal with dips and rises in life would reduce such cases drastically. I Quit-Is never a human spirit. No problem in life is above The Life itself. we have Life that's why we have problems and not we've problem that's why we've life. Teenagers, adolescents are often most vulnerable to fall into suicidal thought traps as they over and over again find it difficult to “Make a Way Out” from a seemingly “No Way Out” situation. Suicide generally is never the result of pro-active and well-informed choice of a healthy mind. It's the symptom that mind has been already hijacked and no longer capable to make a reason with itself.
Author Sriram Ayer has explored this in a much realistic way. From Mani’s narrow escape from death with timely interventions to the tragic end of the story, it was really compelling to understand the ground realities. As a family and society, we have to understand the fault lines, taboos and truths/facts that “the life of the Young Adults revolves around”. Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Technology and Social Media:
In a Gadget filled world it is next to impossible to distance kids/children from Social Media and the related Technology. No doubt it also empowers them by keeping them informed and updated about the latest happenings around the world, but what it lacks is the “Responsibility and Sensitivity” attached to it. It has resulted unwanted things like “Online Bullying” and “Cyber Crimes like sharing video the personal moments”. There “Dos and Don’ts” to this aspects which the teenagers often not taught with.
While reading the story, I was also connecting to a Crime Petrol Story where a teenage Boy uploads a video of him and his Girl Friend in very personal moments post their break ups. The girl suicide while boy lands in the Jail. These are realities which we can’t ignore. Being a mother of a pre-teen boy, it was even more intriguing for me to understand the realities.
My heart was sinking while I was getting through how Charu and Sam were exploiting it. I wish Sam would have been handled properly.
The aspects like Social media and Technological use and abuse, the serious consequences that happens due to the cruelty of insensitiveness and ridicules that people often throw in terms comments while hiding themselves into animosity, The Online bullying and the murky side of teenage relationships blues like breakups, rejections, revenge and suspicions, The Story Of Suicide serves as an Eye Opener for them. It not only grounded to reality but also it makes the reader brood over them while captivatingly immersed in the flow of the story line…..
The Story of Suicide isn’t just about stories of characters it’s a story about “SUICIDE” itself. And the illustrations are really mesmerizing!!
My Rating is 4.5/5 stars.
The “Extra half Star” is for holding my nerve till the end. Very few books had that effect on me, one of them being THE ALCHEMIST!!
Adolescence is often termed as “Difficult days”
because the hormones often change their bodies faster than their minds. Though,
they achieve manhood/womanhood physically, yet their minds still remain
immature and naive. They are often expected to behave as grownups while treated
as kids. So it’s easier said than done to find balance in their thoughts. We
need to understand that “Adolescence” is a state and not a “Disease”. Our
approach to this temporary phase should be practical and sensible at the same
time. There are shadowy things attached to this stage which needs to be
illuminated by showing them care, confidence and coolness for their Confusions
and qualms
Few years back, during a vacation when I visited my hometown after
a long period of three years, I was least aware that destiny was awaiting me to
revive my life with some life lessons. Along with the physical changes
that everything and everyone has acquired during the course of time, I noticed
some internal changes have also taken place.
But the best thing was when I met my school days friends
after long gap 18 years (thanks to Mark Zuckerberg who founded Face
book that enabled people to connect with the old pal which otherwise
would have been a very difficult task or may be just next to impossible) my
thought process took a pause right there.
I met them after ages. Looking at the chubby bodies of some who
used to be very skinny then and the slim built of those who used to be too
flabby those day, it was obvious for me to be lost in marvel. There was a
strong bond between us and we hooked up instantaneously to each other in exchange
of a smile only, as if we were devices connecting to strongest wi fi around.
We talk about all our schooldays incidents within that small
time, blasting into laughter with some instances as if they were real comic
stories. Even there were certain things I heard for the first time. There were
the other sides of the story. For instance, how some one of them had got
spanked as he was caught laughing at the teacher who had lost the track of a chapter
while others (who too had laughed but weren’t caught) had a smart escape. There
were other funny stories as well…like mysteriously stolen Tiffin box stories, the
missing notes tales, the blackboard written things…etc etc..
When I left that place
with aching cheekbones resulted from enough laughter exercises, I realized that
so much have been left unnoticed in the past. Today they are the most valuable
friends but that time they were just classmates. We all have gone far away in our
lives choosing our own path and become successful with material possessions.
But what is common with all of us is “quest for happiness and peace” is still
on. After that… Reminiscent of those days and life till date made me realize
that my quest is still a quest because I never noticed them when they were
quenched time and again in the course of life, as I was too busy to look for
them in “future”.
Sometime in the quest of better
things in life to satisfy our inner urge to become more resourceful in terms of
education, knowledge, wealth…etc which would bring us success, happiness, peace
and thereby a better life… we often fail to notice some moments that
are possibly the best moments of our life. Our ultimate Endeavour in life is
unanimously the happiness and peace…which we feel comes from a life that has
all the amenities and resources.
Till date our search is same, our endeavor is same but probably
we are not in the same path which has resulted some discrepancies in our life.
Sometimes these unnoticed moments are the milestones of our life path revealing
our journey of life till today. They
clearly unveil the fact that we lived the moments of paramount happiness and
enviously peaceful instances and what all we had done is we just didn’t notice
them. Sometime these moments also carry the clear cut information about
taking an incorrect passage that consequently made the present inaptness in
life.
Now days when I wake up in the Morning, the first thing I do is
to check the Whatapp group of my school buddies. Guess what, there will be messages
in same tone, same manner as they used to be. With them I feel like ME….
I always believe nothing happens
without a reason.
On 1st of Aug 2016 a
twitter friend shared the has tag #BarAThon with me and asked me to give a try
to it. That’s how I came to know about this activity. However I wasn’t sure to
write for it all the seven days, I mean for all the seven prompts given to my
hectic schedules these days. But then there were few Prompts which I really liked
and felt like writing and expressing my thoughts. Before I decided to be a part of this activity
I promised to myself that “If I write, I would write for all the prompts”. And it’s
a magic, I would say. I could write for all the prompts.
Today was one of the most chaotic days.
I thought I won’t be able to post for the last prompt #BarAThon . But I was reminded
by my heart about the promise I had made on the first Monday of this month. It
was a Promise to keep…
My mother often says, “When you sincerely
promise yourself something, you manage to keep it at any cost”. How true!
here are the prompts and click on prompts to read my take on them.
The nights of banter With friends surrounded The dawn mist glowing Amidst the concerto of bards’ drivel
The undulating water
In the endless river Her loud giggles Across the paddy fields The Rustic memoirs Lost somewhere Forever, Felt so Poetic One more time...
Fevered, weakened, drenched, Part disillusioned, part amused, As he surrendered to the autumn rain He wondered, If he was drifted to the far-flung land Or his heart was roving In “Wishful Thinking” once again
This Post is for Day 6 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON. Today's Prompt is "Wishful Thinking"
If someone asks me “who do you feel
the best father in this world so far, my instant answer will be The Dad of my
son!! Yeah, it’s Him. I mean, seriously! I feel sometime he knows more about my
son (even if he spends less time with him) than me. I don’t remember I have
ever done any shopping for my son so far as his Clothes, Shoes and toys are concerned.
My Hubby never likes anybody else buy the above stuffs for our son. So much so,
even my family makes sure he is there to choose while doing shopping for us. I
don’t know why, but he has typically selective.
Like any father would do, he buys
stuffs for him wherever he goes. T-Shirts, Toys, Shoes…something or other. It’s
a practice that he brings something home from the place he trips to. And the “Little Man” at house looks for it
religiously too wearing the expression “What Dada will bring for me this time” every
time Dada goes for a work tour.
Once he had been to Malaysia. As
usual he had brought many things along with a pair of shoes for my son. Obviously
The Little Cool Dude was delighted as he opened up the packs. However he became
sad as the shoes didn’t fit to his feet.
He came saying “Dada, will you make
my feet bit small so that I can wear this one”. My Hubby was surprised, because
it never happened before. His calculation had never gone wrong so far for “The
Sizes of clothes and Shoes” for my son. He was really amazed that time.
Well, he managed The Little One
convincing that “Malaysian shoes are bad as they shrink in size when they come
to India” (Weird!! Right!! But that’s how he deals with tantrums of our son).
That night, while I entered the room
to check if my son was properly asleep or not (It’s an everyday activity), I saw
Him sitting near my son and Looking at The Pair of “Tiny Shoes” lying beside
the Bedside table. My son was asleep holding his favorite “Spiderman Car” in
his arms.
What happened? I asked.
He didn’t say anything and suddenly Got up from
the bed and Switched off the light, and then got out of the room. I knew he
wouldn’t say anything as he is very bad in expressing his feelings.
He would never say that “He was
wondering whether his calculations went horribly wrong that time or the little
feet had grown bit faster”
Parenting is such bliss that it’s
difficult to keep track of the time and Time flies as swiftly as a bird even
before it is fully lived…or at least to a level of contentment!!
With children, Shoes don’t’ grow,
feet do. And unfortunately both can’t be “resized” #Fact
This Post is for Day 5 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON. Today's Prompt is "Tiny Shoes"
