#KhulKeKheloHoli: Life is a Palate and the Festival of Holi Validates That!!!

I never knew when the cheerful little girl in me who would love to dance with rainy like showering Gulaal waters all over on Holi grew up to a teen developing a phobia to water colors. Since my teenage I never liked playing Holi with Gulaal waters especially the Harsh Colors. Still now…I have that phobia. I get a goose-bump with the thought of splashing of colors from a pichkari. That’s why…perhaps I never played Holi with an open spirit #KhulKeKheloHoli type...u Know.  

On every Holi instead of getting out to play colors,  I would rather find an excuse to hide myself trusting my family members at home or friends in hostels. I never had/have problem with Dry Colors but water colors that to the chemical ones …I’m really scared of them.

There were reasons to be afraid of as well. I used to have very thick and long hairs. Maintaining it and taking care of them was always a difficult job. Washing my hair used to be nightmares for me.  If chemical colors put into it…then it would take at least a month to be properly cleaned. So more often I used to afraid of the fact that “might be someone would put colors in my hair”

It happened once also…

I was staying at my brother’s place those days. There used to stay a neighbor who I used to call Bhaiya and Bhabi. They were very nice couple with a baby boy. Our family had a very good relation with them and I had a special bond with Bhabi though Bhaiya was also very caring. 

Once in Holi…I took them into confidence to hide myself at their place as my brother’s friends and colleagues used to visit ours to have snacks and sweets and it was quite difficult to save myself from them. They would chase me like anything to put colors on me. Seriously!! I used to be so much worried for that those days…

It all went nicely till the noon. Bhabi also that day didn’t go out to play colors with other ladies of the colony as her son was too small.  Bhaiya had been to my brother’s house. As both the houses were adjoining to each other, I could hear the noises at my brother’s place. after few hours, Slowly the noise subsided. I could hear the sounds of the engines of bikes and cars indicating that everybody was leaving the place. Around quarter to 1 p.m. Bhaiya came and said…Holi was over!!

I took a deep breath to relax myself as I was successful to save myself. I went to our house. My Bhabi was smiling mischievously. The Stupid Me!! I sud have understood that there something puckishly was waiting for me.

GOSH!

Suddenly a bucket of water fall on me…in fact I took some time to understand that it was color water put by My Brother, Bhaiya and two of his friends who were waiting for the mouse to come out of the whole….

The colors were really strong and no need to say…how much time and effort it would have taken to clean them….

Well…that’s what Holi is all about...Bura Na Mano holi Hai…Right!

My mother had given me a very good tip those days. Take an oil massage for your hair the day before u play Holi. Massage coconut oil all over the body in the morning before putting any colors on it. It helps in protecting skin and hair getting affected by any color however strong it may be.  It also helps in removal of colors easily from the skin and hair…it really works! I made it a habit since then.

Now as a mother when I see my son…who starts playing Pani Holi  with fuga (polythene packs)  at least ten days before the Day of Holi and come completely drenched every evening…I really wonder at his enthuse. On the day of Holi also…I see him so insouciant daring all to put colors on him along with splashing colors from his Puchkari, throwing Gulaals …I really hold breaths most of the times.  Honestly I learnt from him only…play Holi with “Devils may care “attitude.  #KhulKeKheloHoli

No need to say…I massage parachute coconut oil all over the body and hair of my son and let him plays Holi with splashing of colors…and me…Okay I’m still afraid of water colors but without fail i oil massage my hair and body to be in safer side…who knows what will happen…

The festival of Holi denotes the existence of the different colors in Life. Life is a Palate. Each colors has its own meaning…but it reminds that Nature is full of colors and they signify the ingress of “spring”. Colorfulness ans sweetness are the positives vibes in our life. Holi brings colors and sweetness in Life.  Let’s get drenched in splatter of colors to welcome “spring” into our Life #KhulKeKheloHoli 

(don't forget to take the Oil massage...)

HAPPY HOLI  

                  

                         

“I’m pledging to #KhulKeKheloHoli this year by sharing my Holi memories at BlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed.”

#MemoriesForLife: The Eternal and Evergreen memories of my Life!

I didn't Give Him any name of Lord Krishna because I feared If He Would Leave me when He would grow up Like Lord krishna Left His mother Yashoda. I named Him Aaditya(Sun) so that I can always see him as the first thing in morning forever #MemoriesForLife

While looking at the prompt #MemoriesForLife I was bit confused at first instant. Because as I walk down the memory lane - especially the sweeter one of my life- I found it has been crowded with many characters. They are all close to my heart. Picking out the best one is as difficult as entering into a beautiful garden of ravishing roses and plucking the best one out of many. Well…I sat for a while in that lane and thought if I have been a given chance…which memory would I love to re-live. Then the scene became very clear.

I always say He is the Blessing of all my prayers. He came to my life with a surprise. As I reminiscent….it was a day of Janmastami (birth day of Lord Krishna) and I had attended a puja at a friend’s place. That time I was just married for three months. During Puja an old Aunty asked me to swing the Jhhula where Ladoo Gopal (Baby Krishna) was being kept as a ritual. As I was newly married so she also hold the string with me and prayed the God…let the Girl have her own Shri Krishna…next time. I was so much embarrassed as all other lady laughed at it.

His cute and lovely gestures!!! #MemoriesForLife

However the Next week following a severe nausea (I felt it might have caused due to fasting on Janmasttami) I visited a doctor. She confirmed my pregnancy. That’s how Aaditya (Pupun…as I call him) entered into my life.

With the first stage of motherhood, little did know that I had entered into the eternal and everlasting spring of my life. Every day became more wonderful than the previous day.

Eternal Memories #MemoriesForLife

I had severe nausea till he was born. But I must admit…I learnt the best lesson of my life that Best treasure/pleasure of life comes through worst pain with his arrival on earth.

The work load, the baby issues, the sleepless nights and stressful days were never been so wonderful before. Everyday There was a new treasure to be unfolded. From his turning sides to respond with glances to my gestures, from his first sounds to his first crawl, first step to walk to first time hearing “Ma” from his mouth…I can’t say how delightful the feeling were.

His first day at Play School…I don’t know how much I had cursed the person who had started this schooling tradition. He wasn’t leaving my hand and I was supposed to take him to home when my husband stopped me and left him with the teacher and forcefully took me out of his sight. I cried and I cried a lot…

Naughty...Naughty...Naughty #MemoriesForLife

Every time he falls sick…the world would become a hell for me.

With every titter of his laugh…the world would become heaven for me…

His breaking of dishes, scattering of toys, tearing out the papers, his random and awkward questions and out of box answers and watching his favorite TV shows…everything is so lovely memoirs to live with.

He was barely three years then... One day He watched our wedding video and photographs and asked me…Mama…where was I? Didn’t you take me to your marriage?

Another day, looking at his new dress I said, “Wow! It’s so beautiful, I want it…to which he said…Mama, when you would become small…I would give it you.

I Want To Live These Memories Forever #MemoriesForLife

At the schools we were the special parents who were often summoned by the teacher every weekend to hear her complain that he never sits in his seat and roams around the class.

One day I asked what was his problem…he said class and teachers are so boring.

……………………………………………………..

……………………………………………………..The list would go on and on.

Motherhood is really a divine bliss. It’s God’s own way of making heaven on earth for the blessed ones. And I’m one of those who were blessed with Aaditya to experience the paradise on earth as a token of celestial blessing.

The memories of every moment with Aaditya are blissful, ever green and eternal spring of my life…I would love to re-live them again and again…I would love to remember them forever!! 

Here is my #MemoriesForLife Scrapbook....

https://memories.hdfclife.com/message/yBaag7xcNf_GxcDgiNaP8Q==

                 

“Share your #MemoriesForLife like I’ve done at BlogAdda for HDFC Life.”

It’s time to teach our boys to #ShareTheLoad and Break the Stereotypes

Trim Trim....My phone rang.

I saw the name blinking on the LED screen. It was from my Maid. I picked it up holding my breath with apprehensions. Let me confess, I’m really afraid of such untimely calls from my maid as most of the time they’re made to inform me that she would take leave(of course Unexpected leaves as they are taken at last moment) which I never liked (obviously). My apprehension was right. She had called me to inform that she had an urgency due to which she wouldn’t come for work that day.

I felt dejected. Well…no option, I had to start doing chores. Cleaning, laundry, dusting, dish washing along with cooking especially when my son had a holiday that day… all the chore were waiting to be done. I started doing things one by one. Perhaps my son noticed me doing the chores while He was watching his favorite TV shows “Doraemon”. May be he realized that “Aunty (He calls my maid Aunty) wasn’t coming that day.

I don’t know what he thought to himself. He went to kitchen and started cleaning dishes. I heard the sounds and rushed to kitchen. I shouted, “What are you doing? Are you crazy? Go and watch TV”

Mama…let me clean the dishes na. You have so much work to do. I can clean dishes. You just see. He pleaded.

After thinking for a moment I let him clean the dishes though I didn’t like that. I knew His little hands were not ready to do any chores. He may break some dishes. And above all…what’s the need? I’m there to do such things...

However He looked very cute cleaning dishes and I couldn’t stop myself taking some pics.

After we finished our lunch…we went to bed. Then he started telling how some of his friends help their mothers doing chores. From Sambhavi, Nilanshi to Sonia didi…he took all those names and what he had seen them doing while at their places. One thing…I realized most of the names were of girls. Hmmm...Girls are normally asked to do such works... #Fact 

In the afternoon I talked to my mother and told her about it. She was irritated. What are you doing with him? He is a boy and how could you allow him doing such works meant for ladies?

Her last words struck me not because they were new to me but they reminded me my upbringing years when I had been said the same thing numerous times.

I shared the pics in my WhatsApp groups to see the reactions. Some friends’ just teased me saying “its child labor” and some said it’s my “army Rule”…but some of the responses made me feel really bad. and they came from all corners like friends, elders and relatives. It was “are you going to make your son a Ghar Jamai”

So a boy doing household chores to help his mother is an aspiring “Ghar Jamai…”

Well…Let’s admit it. We as a society always think that “house hold chores (with a blend of inferiority to it)” are exclusively for women. They are inferior work and women should do them as they are less equals than men. This stereotype thought existed since time immemorial and still has a strong grip in the society no matter how women have proved their strength in every field. Just see the following statistics....it's giving a clear picture of how our society is obsessed with stereotyping the household works with women.  

This is the Statistics

In my upbringing years I have seen how my mother would always teach me that I should learn house hold chores even if I dream of becoming a career women. Unfortunately Now days also I see many of my friends who are mothers of teenage daughters teaching their girls kitchen etiquette and household works even if it has become mandatory for girls to work and earn now a days.

Chahe kitne bhi padhi likhi and servicewali kyouin na ho jaye ladkiyon ko to ghar ka kaam shikhna hi padega....this is the reality. 

I had reacted when my mother had asked me do some work while sending my brother for playing but I was made silent by the word “compulsion”. It’s mandatory to do household works even if we work. Ladke kapde nahi dhote, bartan nahin manjte, khana nahin banate…it’s just not their works…as if some kind of Universal rule created by God.  

Same thing I still notice in many families even in a metro city like Mumbai. That time also “boys doing household chores at home” was considered shameful and against their manliness. Now also same thing is going on. 

I have seen some of my friends, cousins and other relatives suffering a lot (even it has gone to an extent of divorce)  after marriage because of this prejudice.

But my point is Can I afford thinking in same line for my son? Especially when I see my peers who are having only girls and bringing up them the way I rear my son?  

Now day’s good news is many families are bringing up their children - no matter girls or boys – equally unlike before when girls were considered less equals. They are now equally educated, given opportunity and respected in the family. They are now even earning equally or sometime more than their male counterparts.

And my son also has such girls as well in his surroundings. Then how can I typecast that “boys don’t do household chores” and they are girlish type of things?

If I’m a genuine mother and considerate about the well-being of my son in future especially his future family life, then definitely I can’t afford to feed him with the age old prejudiced thoughts and beliefs. Can I say him he is superior just because he is a boy? No way! Because that’s not the reality for him.

At least I think…it’s time for us to change this stereotype in the next generation. I think it has become mandatory for us to teach our kids especially boys to #ShareTheLoad when girls have already learnt to share the financial burden in the family.

What’s your say…please share your opinion in the comment section! I would be happy to read them.  

In the mean time watch this video that is doing rounds these days in all social media. How a father realizes his mistake for not helping his wife when he notices his over burdened Princess managing house and office.

             

Laundry is just a work and let’s not tag it with a gender (manly or womanly)…so also other works at home…#ShareTheLoad. 

Most households are of the collective opinion that doing any household chore, especially laundry, is a woman’s job. Ariel and BlogAdda fought the imbalance within the household by asking#IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob and asking men to #ShareTheLoad a while back. And now it’s time to think of a long term solution to this problem by nipping the prejudice at the bud.

One of the solution is to teach our sons to #ShareTheLoad...

“I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”

One Promise from him: Be like this Forever!!!

Ahh!! When I think of a promise/Vaada/kasam and like terms from Him…honestly I don’t remember anything. Literally He never made any promise to me of any kind in our relationship which is more than a decade old after being tied with that sacred knot called “marriage”. But the best thing is …surely he is a great mind reader. Most of the time He does that what many of his ilk does to keep that promise they made to their beloveds. Sometime he makes plans or buys things for me even before I think about them.

I and my better half share a very different type of relationship. Our marriage was an instant one though arranged by our elders. From his side he was the decision maker and from my side my family had taken the decision. So I was a bit unprepared more clearly unwilling to accept this relationship in the beginning. One of the reason was everything happened so instantly that I couldn’t get time to accept the changes. Well… We were pretty smart to show as a perfect pair before everybody but we knew what the gap between us was. There was surely an emotional gap.  So I never demanded anything nor expected any kind of promise from him to keep me happy…because I knew I wasn’t going to be happy at any cost (sounds stupid but true!!)

But things changed. Don’t know how but one fine day I found that I’m perfectly happy with my life having a small family….an adorable Husband and a cool dude son.  And it’s all because of Him.  Because he did everything what it needs to be a Perfect husband….like

He would always say “Sorry” every time at the end whenever we have a fight or argument, no matter who is at fault.

He would always remember important dates (unlike his peers) like my birth day, our son’s birth day and our anniversary.

He would always surprise me with a gift or dinner on any celebrating days…like women’s day or mother’s day...Etc.

He would always respect my feelings, my likings and my way of looking at things.

He is always accommodative and supportive.

He would always do small things to make me feel happy. For ex. would always buy a chocolate for me as well while buying the same for our son

He would do things that would make me special and great.

He himself is a “speak and span” person and he would always dress up nicely. I like that.

I would never have to worry about anything…whether it is the health issues of my son or other issues of the family. He is the one who takes all the burdens.

Trust and commitment…I would say just synonymous to HIM…

The list would be a big one….so no point of making it so long. Isn’t he damn #SadaSexy as a person? The point is not only he became a man of vows after marriage but also he walked the walk for all those promises he made before that Sacred Fire (Havan Kund) if not to me directly.

So I never have felt to have any promise from him. But if today someone asks what would be that one promise I would like to have from Him….I would say “Tum hamesha aisehi Rahna, Kabhi badal na Jana…(Be like this always forever….Never Change)”.

                   

“I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda”